Dear 2017

Dear 2017,

I will always remember you as a year of awakening.  A year that sparked transformation of body, mind, and spirit.


During the beginning of you, I discovered the Dalai Lama.  I feel like his spiritual teachings have altered my life's course on a slightly different trajectory, much like blasting an asteroid hurtling towards Earth might offset it's trajectory a percentage of a degree, enough to prevent its previously imminent Earthly collision (can you tell I've also been reading about science via Bill Nye and Neil DeGrasse Tyson?)

The Dalai Lama has such profound lessons to be learned.  Lessons of compassion, kindness, humility, perspective, and inner peace.  I plan to re-read his teachings.  My life's circumstances preclude me from being a lama, but I know I have the capacity to incorporate his teachings into my life in meaningful ways.

And in his teachings I've also discovered the writings of Piero Ferrucci and Daniel Goleman.  Ferruci's books have taught me the value of emphasizing kindness and finding strength through adversity.  Goleman's books have taught me emotional intelligence and the benefits that we receive by exercising kindness.

Thank you, 2017, for introducing me to the self-awareness that comes with finding inner peace.  I found this through meditation and calmness.  I found this in kindness, both the warmth of giving it, and the appreciation of receiving it.  I found this in being centered, accepting who I am, finding forgiveness for myself, and finding and nurturing the things I love and what keeps me whole.

Though I've always been intellectually curious, I had only previously satiated that curiosity through NPR programs and the occasional book.

In the middle of you, a very fortunate convergence occurred.  Extensive walking and my daily commute afforded me time to stimulate my intellectual curiosity, which was mutually beneficial.  Walking gave me the time to listen to audiobooks, and listening to audiobooks gave me incentive to walk.  It was a win-win!

I found my love of reading in you, 2017.  I discovered the Dalai Lama, Piero Ferrucci and Daniel Goleman as I mentioned above.  I mostly read non-fiction - biographies, self-help and history, but George Orwell's 1984 hit me HARD.  It got me to think about the meaning of life and happiness.  It changed my mind about how much a fictional work can be significantly thought provoking.

I developed an admiration for Barack Obama through three of his books.  I learned different perspectives on the Pacific Theater of World War 2 through "Midnight In Broad Daylight" and "To Hell and Back", about the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and the Japanese POW camp in "Unbroken".  I discovered beautiful poetry (and a newfound love of poetry) through Rupi Kaur.  I revisited "The Little Prince" and "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", both of which were significant books at different points in my life.

Another significant change in my thinking came with Dan Buettner's The Blue Zones books.  I recognize the synergy between diet, exercise, stress reduction, spirituality, and social support, and have been trying to implement these things in my life.

The other intellectual satiation came via learning Japanese.  I've always wanted to learn Japanese, and sometimes I feel like I'm the only person that didn't pursue it much as a kid.  It's such a great time to learn Japanese, with apps and audio lessons available.  Not to mention the convergence of my time available and allocated to learning Japanese.  Through 2017, I've learned all of my hiragana, about a third of my katakana, a few kanji, and about 500 words or so (some of which are forgotten).

And learning Japanese wasn't just beneficial for its own sake.  It helped me to exercise my memory muscles, and helped my focus, as I learned not to let my mind drift during Japanese lessons.

I have a long way to go - I can only form a few rudimentary sentences, but I am determined to be fluent in Japanese.

Thank you, 2017, for providing me the time and opportunity to develop intellectually through reading and learning Japanese.  Not only have I expanded my mind by learning new things, new perspectives, new philosophies, but I've also been able to find calmness, motivation, and focus.

At the beginning of you, I had lost my way physically.  My body was still way over my ideal body weight, and I had stopped walking and working out.  I was not eating healthily to boot.

At the midpoint of you, I re-discovered walking.  Walking helped me with endurance, with stress, and with my health.  My blood pressure went down and I've lost 13 pounds, give or take a few.  Through walking, I've also been able to nurture love of audiobooks, Japanese lessons, and music.  I now walk every hour at work and climb around 20 flights of stairs daily.

After reading the Blue Zones, I've started eating a primarily pescatarian diet.  I've learned to love the simple taste of really quality food.  Things like Okinawan sweet potatoes, kidney beans, tomatoes, edamame, toasted sourdough bread, apples, and my current obsession, bittermelon. I also really love salmon and sardines, and am currently also exploring different ways of cooking dried soy curd, fungus and dried turnips.

Thank you, 2017, for awakening a renaissance in eating and exercise for me.  I've never felt better in my life.  This is a journey towards physical wellness that I've only just begun, but in which I've started to see light at the end of the tunnel.  At the same time, once I break the light, I want to make sure my train continues to travel forward.  Recognizing how good exercise and proper eating feels in incentive to continue this journey.

Another thing I needed to nourish was my creative side.  This blog was a part of that, but I found a lot of fulfillment through cooking and playing music.

Cooking has always been a combination of a creative endeavor, and a way to relax.  On the creative side, I think I've finally developed tools to create things that are truly my own and to have my own style of cooking, even though I'm always learning.

Through cooking, I've practiced the hand-eye coordination and motor skills necessary to do things like having consistent cuts, practiced multitasking and timing, and learned about culture through ingredients.  I've learned of the meticulous techniques of Japanese chefs like Masaharu Morimoto, and French techniques like sous vide and confit.

Cooking is also relaxing and takes the stress out of having to have something healthy and economical to eat.

I didn't get to spend as much time on music as I would have liked to, but have appreciation for the time that I did have to play.  Still, I found occasional moments to play guitar, and spent more time in the rehearsal studio playing with other musicians than I have in years.

Unfortunately the lack of confluence of inspiration, time, and studio availability hampered my songwriting output in you, 2017.  I hope to change this in 2018.  Fortunately I've had a lot of inspiration through bands like Decapitated, Cavalera Conspiracy, Iron Reagan, Nails, and Power Trip.  It's an exciting time to be playing metal.

I've also been selling off most of my non-metal gear to focus my tools on playing metal.  Next on my acquisition wish list are a custom built Explorer styled guitar, and a new amp.

I have great appreciation, 2017, for the time you've allowed me to exercise my creative side.  Sometimes I feel like a border collie that is confined to a life of being a house dog instead of being in the field herding sheep, but this has only enhanced my appreciation of the time that I am able to play music.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I've had some incredibly wonderful and fulfilling time with my amazing son, and my beautiful daughter.  I've seen them grow and thrive, sometimes suffer but always ultimately pull through, and make their mark on the world with grace and humility.  They are incredible talented, extremely smart, and always full of joy.  Perhaps they are my "ikigai", my reason for living.

My son and I have bonded through music.  We played together in the studio with other musicians.  He's taken the musical knowledge I've given him and has done his own thing, with rousing success.  He's been written about in magazines and recognized for his abilities, and continues to make amazing music.  As a musician with hopes for my son to follow in my footsteps, I could not be happier.

We've bonded over our nerdity about Star Wars and Marvel Comics.

He continues to confide in me, and I support him whole heartedly.  He has had starring roles in plays, has been the president of his choir, has gotten into the top hip hop dance company, all while maintaining a GPA over 4.0.

Most importantly, he is a beautiful, compassionate, generous, kind hearted person, who I am extremely proud to call my son, and whom I love unequivocally.  I could not have any more gratitude for his presence in my life.

My daughter is quite possibly my best friend.  Without fail, she accompanies me on a weekly grocery shopping trip, where we bond over music, and often talk about what's going on in her life.  In a society where I hear most early teen daughters don't communicate with their parents, I feel so fortunate to talk to her every single day.

That communication has led to our own language and inside jokes, that emphasize how special our relationship is.

She is so talented.  I love to hear her sing, even though she rarely sings for me when I ask.  Oddly, she will sing in front of hundreds of people.  But on those shopping trips when she's playing music in the car and singing, I smile, at least on the inside.

I also love to watch her dance.  She has a joy to her dancing, that invokes an uncontrollable smile in me.  Unfortunately her dancing for me is even rarer than her singing.

She is a talented artist, whose art never ceases to amaze me.  I want to nurture that talent in her.

And she is smart.  Maybe a little too smart.  So smart that she is a perfectionist and can't complete her homework in time.  But it doesn't matter - her report card and accolades from her teachers show me that she's doing the best she can and is successful.

She is kind, loving and affectionate.  Not only am I proud of her, but I adore her immensely.  She is a constant source of happiness in my life, and like my son, I have gratitude for her every day.

Thank you, 2017, for giving me the time and opportunity to spend with my beautiful children, which nurtured our relationships and allowed for reciprocated love and admiration.

2017, you've given me a wonderful year of self-discovery, of hard work, of creativity, of inspiration, of learning, and of love.  I will remember you as an incredible year that took me from the depths of depression to the beginning of a journey of happiness and wellness.  Thanks to you, I start 2018 with a full heart, clear mind, peace, inspiration, a positive outlook, and a capacity for love.